We Propose

 I am supposed to be in Mecca today. A trip that is long overdue. My last pilgrimage was in 2014 and my husband and I started planning since last year (2022).

December 2022 was the original plan but we postponed it till January/February this year. Though I know that my daughter is taking her SPM (it’s something like SAT or IGCSE) but we planned that my eldest son who is on semester break should be able to send and fetch her from school.

She didn’t say anything, just agreing to the notion that I’ll be away whilst she’s struggling with examination. But being a mom, it’s not that easy to let go. I am torn between performing my umrah pilgrimage, or stay and provide all the support that she needs.

I know my hubby is really wanted to go and we almost never travel without each other. This is a decision that you yourself need to decide and believe me if I say, it’s not an easy decision. Nevertheless, one has to stay strong and should not show any trace of sadness, to the children nor to your other half. The only time that I could let go my weariness and frustration is when all the lights are out. That is when I would extend my dua’ and hope that whatever decision that was made is for the best. 

Today is day 2 without my other half. Another 14 days to go... I pray that my daughter do well in her exam and May Allah bless her and her brothers. Amin.